You are currently browsing the monthly archive for June 2012.

That’s what I’m doing.  It’s what I’ve done almost all day long.  In my hotel room (did you know that Marriott is owned by a Mormon, thus the Bible AND the Book of Mormon in each room?), in a coffee shop (where I ran into a gal whose dad I work with at SC and a couple of midwesterns that love Jesus), in a Prius (yes, I upgraded the rental and it was AWESOME!), on a beach (MORE AWESOME), in an airport ale house (no ale consumed, not a fan, although I ordered some as a belated birthday gift for a cousin).  Soon, I will be sitting at the terminal gate and then on a plane.  Then another airport and another terminal gate and another airplane, another rental and 3 more restaurants for meetings (although two will be fun meetings).

I’m tired.  I’ve been sitting a long time.

I’ve not been myself for a long time and I’ve spent time today thinking about that a bit.  I don’t really know what set me off my course, but I was lost.  I hurt.  I was sad and lonely.  I was simply not right.  I finally came to the point where I was so miserable I couldn’t stand it any longer.  I was tired of sitting in my office working until 1 am because I felt I had nothing else.  I was tired of sitting on my couch watching the same movies over and over and over, not wanting to sit anywhere else.  I was tired of sitting being miserable. 

So I got some help.  I cannot believe the change.  I’m not sure what was at hand, but I’m becoming myself again.  Thank God!

I love God.  That never changed.  It was hard to talk to Him though for a long time.  No reason why, I just didn’t have the words.  I felt like I was talking in a vacuum, knowing that even though I felt that, it wasn’t true.  It was almost like I was watching myself struggle in my faith and life.  Being able to converse with God again is as refreshing as a cool sweet lemonade on a sweltering Kansas summer day.  Wow.  It is goooooood.

I smile again and I mean it.  Sometimes I’m tired and want to sit.  That’s OK.  I can now sit and talk with God and that’s OK and far from where I was. 

God continues to provide, even when I don’t know how to talk with Him, let alone how to ask Him to provide, or what I even need. 

God is good.  I’m not worthy, but I am now happy to sit and be.  Happy to sit and be with God.

Advertisements
June 2012
M T W T F S S
« Apr    
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930