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That’s what I’m doing. It’s what I’ve done almost all day long. In my hotel room (did you know that Marriott is owned by a Mormon, thus the Bible AND the Book of Mormon in each room?), in a coffee shop (where I ran into a gal whose dad I work with at SC and a couple of midwesterns that love Jesus), in a Prius (yes, I upgraded the rental and it was AWESOME!), on a beach (MORE AWESOME), in an airport ale house (no ale consumed, not a fan, although I ordered some as a belated birthday gift for a cousin). Soon, I will be sitting at the terminal gate and then on a plane. Then another airport and another terminal gate and another airplane, another rental and 3 more restaurants for meetings (although two will be fun meetings).
I’m tired. I’ve been sitting a long time.
I’ve not been myself for a long time and I’ve spent time today thinking about that a bit. I don’t really know what set me off my course, but I was lost. I hurt. I was sad and lonely. I was simply not right. I finally came to the point where I was so miserable I couldn’t stand it any longer. I was tired of sitting in my office working until 1 am because I felt I had nothing else. I was tired of sitting on my couch watching the same movies over and over and over, not wanting to sit anywhere else. I was tired of sitting being miserable.
So I got some help. I cannot believe the change. I’m not sure what was at hand, but I’m becoming myself again. Thank God!
I love God. That never changed. It was hard to talk to Him though for a long time. No reason why, I just didn’t have the words. I felt like I was talking in a vacuum, knowing that even though I felt that, it wasn’t true. It was almost like I was watching myself struggle in my faith and life. Being able to converse with God again is as refreshing as a cool sweet lemonade on a sweltering Kansas summer day. Wow. It is goooooood.
I smile again and I mean it. Sometimes I’m tired and want to sit. That’s OK. I can now sit and talk with God and that’s OK and far from where I was.
God continues to provide, even when I don’t know how to talk with Him, let alone how to ask Him to provide, or what I even need.
God is good. I’m not worthy, but I am now happy to sit and be. Happy to sit and be with God.