I just had the reality of leaving Kenya hit me BAM! right upside my head. However, it hurts my heart more than it hurts my head.  As I made arrangements for Emmanuel to pick me up in his taxi at 4:30 tomorrow afternoon, it all suddenly became crystle clear to me. 

I’m leaving Kenya.


for good.

     for now, anyway.

I’ve started saying that God’s plans are far bigger than my little brain can even imagine so why bother worrying.  I may indeed come back to Kenya, as most of my Kenyan friends are sure that I will.  I may find my path crossing those here in other places.  I may never come back and be just fine with that, too. 

I have no idea. 

I have a very clear idea, however, that I am very sad to go right now.  This moment my heart is aching.  I’m sitting at a coworker’s desk as people are meeting in my office.  I’m thinking of all the things to say or not say, to write, to not write, to do and not do.  What’s first?  What’s important? 

When you first leave a place everyone vows to stay in touch.  I find, however, that my idea of keeping in touch and yours may be very different.  I have some friends I don’t hear from for years and then we pick up as though it’s just been a long weekend.  Others start haltingly but then our hearts warm to one another, yet again, and the friendship blossoms. 

There are many people here that I have met and they have touched my heart.   I will miss them dearly.  Some of them may never know that as I see them in a photo or think of them randomly, I smile.  Some will keep in touch (hooray for the internet and the joys of facebook and email) and some will not.

Oh, but the memories I will always treasure of my time here in Kenya. 

And oh, the tears I will shed as I leave.